My philosophy
This blog is dedicated to my love of eating, cooking, writing and reading about food. In it you'll find recipes, book reviews, restaurant reviews and various other food related bits and pieces.
Housewives all over the world breathed a sigh of relief when this product sprouted legs and walked into their lives... a meal in a kidney dish.....
Now I don't know whether it's me, but these images put me in mind of the remnants of an autopsy... or perhaps someones been routing in the medical waste bin for body parts and presenting them in their sterile, silver segmented compartments just for show (see picture below for the raw ingredients)....
Oh and you can put your minds at ease, the meal's already cooked for you.... Rosarita's been slaving over a hot stove all day just to bring you these authentic 'Mexican Style' meals Mmmmmmmmm! I'll pass...
I bet you can guess what I'm thinking..... maggots in a can, perhaps? Maybe they've escaped a fate worse than ending up as bait, by landing on your dinner plate, acting as garniture for that strange orange mound, vaguely resembling a fish???
Or maybe this was some ad-man's idea of a joke... for women simply too busy to fry onions.... Do they think that by slapping the word 'French' in front of fried onions, that it instantly raises its credentials? Seriously, come on!
For me, this is the kind of food that you find in a museum, in the World War Two section, much like this:
© Richard MossPlease note, I've just been on the
Durkee website and their food looks as alien now, as it did back in the 60's....
Creativity kit? More like aquatic disgorgement in a can- the fish wouldn't take this bait, even if it was draped over that dry, cracked, brown log! Ugh!
This months Goremet simply screamed at me from the Google search page... funnily enough we'd been talking about Spam in work today.... but by no means were we singing it's praises!
We were explaining to a young college student, what a foul and unhealthy addition it was to any kitchen cupboard.
I completely agree with the opinion above, realising it to be an outdated and unpopular product, but I didn't find it as offensive as I do now.
Overt thine eyes if you have baneful thoughts, as you may want to walk this plank, rather than
chomp on it!
Planked Spam? Planked Spam?! Is this meant to encourage excitement and adventure? A bright pink mass smothered in sugar and tarted up with tomatoes with piped potatoes as a border....? It would be greeted with tears, rather than cheers, if someone brought this to my table, they would no longer be welcome in my household!
I mean, I'm not being funny, but I'd rather drown myself in a bowl of cold, lumpy custard than face the harrowing task of carving up and eating this 'mother'....
The concept of placing a whole slab of spam in an oven proof dish, like some sort of sworded centre-piece just baffles me... and low and behold the relentless Spam-fest continues:
What's festive about this? I can't say it's traditional fare in my book. An upside down PIE which says to use biscuit mix???....perhaps they had it in mind when discussing ideas for the annual Monkey Buffet Festival in Thailand? I think these poor primates might be the only ones that could be impressed by this meat-flower, wheel of doom.....ugh!
Good evening gourmands! I have some more unsavoury delights for your perusal... As usual, it didn't take me long on my quest to select the ultimate in un-delectable design and so I give you:
Kraft's answer to Mayonnaise 'with a kick',
Miracle Whip, and their recipe for
Almonds in a Haystack.
Now given the fact that this monstrosity resembles a decapitated
dulux dog, I think this is one haystack I'd rather leave unexplored.
The mounds of meaty goodness shown in the cross-section of this 'volcano of food' are enough to make ones stomach turn to pure magma, as the mere thought of consuming this 'holiday treat' causes bile to rise in the back of my throat.
I assume the layer of white is the congealed masses of Miracle Whip encasing the pink and green innards. According to the advert:
'Some things can be copied and some things can't' so answer me this question Kraft.... why would anyone copy this example? This freakish mound of cold, mayo covered meat with a fork plunging through it's weird chip-covered outer core....
(Yet another unappetising use of chips... fangs for the undead)
Lead by example
Kraft.... you're taking over
Cadbury, a British institution, I'm now more concerned for our chocolate than I've ever been!
Well, can I just say folks I am a little disappointed in the responses to my last post! I thought Goremet would work really well on my blog, but no one's sent me any grim pictures from their recipe books- what's that all about?
So, in vain I shall prattle on with goremet, as I enjoy exploring the culinary and the grotesque... here's this weeks installment:
Described by its manufacturer as 'gross and functional' this egg separator 'snot' appealing in the slightest! If you're too lazy or stupid to partake in the simple act of separating a yolk from an albumen, then you shouldn't be cooking, least of all using this disgusting creation!
Who the hell designs these things? Who would find it attractive? Oh yes, I know, I'll make some kind of freakish device modelled on the future death mask of Gerard Depardieu, that'll sell!
Not the most aesthetically pleasing item to have in the kitchen... it's enough to turn you vegan (and that's really saying something!)
Well well well, it seems January is nearly over and after a bleak month of snow and ice, I thought I'd try something new to brighten up your day (drum roll, please).... goremet!
Before anyone asks, no, I haven't gone mad, or indeed, forgotten how to spell gourmet, I simply wanted to pay homage to one of my all-time favourite blogs, Cake Wrecks, and explore the world of gross food (but on a wider scope).
Cake Wrecks takes the seemingly appetising and throws an incompetent 'professional' into the mix with disastrous consequences, I want to look at a broader range of cuisine, from 70's throw-back, meat-wrapped phallic fruits:
To the eyebrow-raising offerings from the 'Queen of Cuisine' Fanny Cradock (pictured below) 
So dust off your Trex cookbooks and any other garishly illustrated titles and simply email me the pictures (and I will add witty, observational comments!) Here's a little something to get the ball rolling:
All I can think of when I look at this oozing monstrosity is Miss Havisham and the wedding feast that nobody would ever consume (or would want to!) Maybe this is in the Weight Watchers recipe collection for a reason- to put you off food all together?
And what are those flowers all about? Ever heard of the phrase 'You can't polish a turd'?
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Gooseberries
